You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
