He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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