she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
