i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
