I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
