I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
