I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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