Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
