Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
