So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
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Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
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To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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