Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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