I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
