Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
