I think I just saw someone hide a body.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
