My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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