I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
