You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize