And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
