is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
