it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
