it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
