I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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