my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
