it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize