I wannas sexs uuuuu
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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