I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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