i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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