So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
