i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
