i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
