Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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