Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
