i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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