he thought i was a dude.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
