you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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