i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
