Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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