Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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