He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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