I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
