What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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