Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
