Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
