what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
