Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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