At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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