Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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