So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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