just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
