so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
