remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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