Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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