the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
