im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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