Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
