Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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