It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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