omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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