jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
can u get pink eye on your cock?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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