Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is Oprah even human
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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