My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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