i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
