am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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