She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
