Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
