Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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