you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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