Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
