Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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