Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
