I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
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Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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